Sunday, July 28, 2013
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Surviving for Lily
A guest post from Heather Von St James:
I couldn't wait to be a mom. As soon as I found
out I was pregnant, I went straight to the bookstore and bought every book I
could find on pregnancy. I avoided unhealthy foods, I found the best
doctor, and I spent every waking second preparing myself for our new addition
I
knew that my life would be changed forever but I could never know just how
much. Lily was the most beautiful little girl in the world and I couldn't
believe how lucky I was to be her mother. However, just three short
months later, my world would be torn apart. I was diagnosed with cancer.
When the doctor first told me I had pleural
mesothelioma and discussed my prognosis with me, I was terrified. How
could I possibly have 15 months and miss out on a life with my little one?
At that moment, I decided that I wasn't going to let that happen.
Anything I could do to stay alive, I would do it.
My
husband, Cam, and I decided that I would seek treatment in Boston, which meant
that I had to fly 1200 miles away from my precious baby for who knows how long.
Instead of snuggling my Lily as I intended, I was going to spend
countless hours in the hospital undergoing radiation, chemotherapy, and
surgery. While my parents watched our daughter, Cam stood by my side as I
went through treatment. My treatment included the removal of both my left lung
as well as the lining surrounding my diaphragm and heart. All in all, I was
away for a month and missed out on a lot of the first year of my little girl's
life.
Once
I finally was home, I couldn't get enough time with Lily. We went to play
dates, walked outside, and played as much as my tired body would let me.
All I wanted to do was soak up every minute I could with my darling girl.
Almost eight years later, really nothing has changed. We still
appreciate and love one another more and more each day, knowing that life is
precious. We shared our story with Lily who, at the time, was too
small to remember and we are glad we did. She has developed such a
beautiful, happy personality and appreciates the value of each and every life.
Amid the chaos and the uncertainty, we stayed strong and became the
family we are today and we wouldn't change it for the world.
While
dealing with mesothelioma was beyond terrifying, I can't deny that so much good
came out of that pain. I hope that sharing my story will encourage others
who are going through a similar difficult time to persevere and to know that
they are never alone. Take heart and know that there is always hope.
Monday, July 22, 2013
We made it!
So it's very obvious I could never keep up with a blog like some moms do. The climax of this whole thing, and I'm like almost a week late posting it. Sorry guys!
Last week we moved Alyssa's bed and Laikon's crib in to what was the boys' room. There is now a twin bed, a crib, and 2 toddler beds in one room. We put both sets of drawers in the boys' closet. Now Alyssa's old room is the toy room. We went through everything and weeded out about half, and when it's all cleaned up it looks like they have nothing left. But let me tell you something....puzzles, and trains, and blocks, and all those "little" things can make quite a mess. The day after we got it all out, the kids stayed in there all day. I had to make them come out for lunch and supper. After that day though, they had destroyed the room, so they didn't play in there any more. This morning we cleaned it all back up, and they stayed in there for hours again, but now it's a mess. The only rules for that room is that all toys have to stay in that room and that it will be completely cleaned up once a week for me to vacuum. (There is a bit of gray area because we don't mind if they are wearing their dress up clothes around the house or riding their stick horses around, but they must put them back as soon as they are finished.) Otherwise if they want it a mess that's their problem. I will not nag them about it. However, because they won't play in there when everything is dumped in the floor it tells me they would rather it be clean, so now I have to convince them to put things away when they are finished so it will stay that way.
This past week it has been me who needed to learn to let go and work with what we have. I am a perfectionist. It was hard for me to put all the beds in one room because I had worked hard decorating each of the bedrooms. Everything matched and there was a theme throughout both rooms. It bothered me that there are 2 white beds and 2 black beds. All the decor is different so I am having to pick which pieces I like the most and what will work well together. I cannot buy more, and I cannot change their bedding, and it's hard for me to let it go. But the whole idea was to appreciate what we have and to live more simply.
The rest of our house has stayed tidier because the toys are all in one place, and since they have their toys back they haven't been pulling random things out of cabinets and drawers to entertain themselves. We actually have some extra space because the train table, book shelf, and Little People are in the toy room and our living room is just furniture and the tv and computer now. Our hall closet got cleaned out for toys that we ended up not putting in there so it is available space now too. Their bedroom is slightly cramped, but I love opening the door to one room to find my whole world right there together. They fall asleep giggling, and then I bring Laikon in when they are quiet. I know they are all there and safe and still close to me, even though they are in another room. It settles my nerves a little. If anything bad were to happen I could get to them all at the same time.
When they've played in the toy room there has been little to no arguing, and if they fight over a toy it has only taken me saying they have to take turns once to get them to settle down and move on. If they leave out the toys, I just remind them that they could have no toys and they will quickly get their things put back in the toy room. When school starts, it will be nice to have a designated area for schooling besides just the kitchen table, and we'll probably switch it up to keep things interesting.
I am glad we did this. We will definitely stay conscious when it comes to buying new toys and things because that's all they are is "things". We're asking that no one bring presents to the kids' birthday parties. We will spend that time eating, playing games, and visiting. And this year at Christmas we will be following the "one thing to wear, one thing to read, one thing you want, and one thing you need" rule. We did a little better this past Christmas but could still use some improvement.
Now that we are finished I will still be updating about things we do for fun, how we do with presents at parties, and also other changes we've made to live more simply. Check back tomorrow night for a guest post from Heather Von St James, who experienced first hand how quickly life can change in a way that makes you realize what is most important.
Last week we moved Alyssa's bed and Laikon's crib in to what was the boys' room. There is now a twin bed, a crib, and 2 toddler beds in one room. We put both sets of drawers in the boys' closet. Now Alyssa's old room is the toy room. We went through everything and weeded out about half, and when it's all cleaned up it looks like they have nothing left. But let me tell you something....puzzles, and trains, and blocks, and all those "little" things can make quite a mess. The day after we got it all out, the kids stayed in there all day. I had to make them come out for lunch and supper. After that day though, they had destroyed the room, so they didn't play in there any more. This morning we cleaned it all back up, and they stayed in there for hours again, but now it's a mess. The only rules for that room is that all toys have to stay in that room and that it will be completely cleaned up once a week for me to vacuum. (There is a bit of gray area because we don't mind if they are wearing their dress up clothes around the house or riding their stick horses around, but they must put them back as soon as they are finished.) Otherwise if they want it a mess that's their problem. I will not nag them about it. However, because they won't play in there when everything is dumped in the floor it tells me they would rather it be clean, so now I have to convince them to put things away when they are finished so it will stay that way.
This past week it has been me who needed to learn to let go and work with what we have. I am a perfectionist. It was hard for me to put all the beds in one room because I had worked hard decorating each of the bedrooms. Everything matched and there was a theme throughout both rooms. It bothered me that there are 2 white beds and 2 black beds. All the decor is different so I am having to pick which pieces I like the most and what will work well together. I cannot buy more, and I cannot change their bedding, and it's hard for me to let it go. But the whole idea was to appreciate what we have and to live more simply.
The rest of our house has stayed tidier because the toys are all in one place, and since they have their toys back they haven't been pulling random things out of cabinets and drawers to entertain themselves. We actually have some extra space because the train table, book shelf, and Little People are in the toy room and our living room is just furniture and the tv and computer now. Our hall closet got cleaned out for toys that we ended up not putting in there so it is available space now too. Their bedroom is slightly cramped, but I love opening the door to one room to find my whole world right there together. They fall asleep giggling, and then I bring Laikon in when they are quiet. I know they are all there and safe and still close to me, even though they are in another room. It settles my nerves a little. If anything bad were to happen I could get to them all at the same time.
I am glad we did this. We will definitely stay conscious when it comes to buying new toys and things because that's all they are is "things". We're asking that no one bring presents to the kids' birthday parties. We will spend that time eating, playing games, and visiting. And this year at Christmas we will be following the "one thing to wear, one thing to read, one thing you want, and one thing you need" rule. We did a little better this past Christmas but could still use some improvement.
Now that we are finished I will still be updating about things we do for fun, how we do with presents at parties, and also other changes we've made to live more simply. Check back tomorrow night for a guest post from Heather Von St James, who experienced first hand how quickly life can change in a way that makes you realize what is most important.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Days 22-27
Okay so I'm behind. We've done a lot too!
Last Wednesday was our park day. We met up with friends and played even though it was very hot that day, and the sudden rain that we just played through only made it more humid. Late Tuesday night I picked up Laikon a Bumbo, so it was fun having him try that out Wednesday too. After the kids had gone to bed I noticed that their new rain boots had arrived at some point during the day, so I got them out of their boxes and was so excited to give them to them the next day. We spent quite a while online a few days before trying to find a pair each kid liked that was affordable and came in their size, so I couldn't wait to see them on. Well I lined them up to take a photo and noticed that Alton was sent 2 left boots! I was so mad. And on top of that they didn't have anymore in his size, so I had to go back and pick a totally different pair. I hope when the new pair finally shows up he isn't disappointed that they have tractors on them rather than race cars. I put Alyssa and Landon's up, until Alton's comes in. They are all really cute, and they are from Hatley. They seem very well made!
Thursday I purposefully put Laikon in disposable diapers so I could get every
diaper washed and get a stash shot. We have quite a collection and more
on the way! I'm so proud! :) That afternoon I met my mom at the Teacher's Credit Union in Fort Payne. If you are local, you ought to check them out! I had always thought it was just for teachers, but they've been open to the public for some time now. Anyway, we opened a savings account for each kid. From now on we will be putting all the money the kids receive for birthdays and Christmas in these accounts. When they are old enough to use the money responsibly, 18 or so, we will hand the accounts over to them. This credit union is great for kids! They have a Savasaurus Club, and the kids get money deposited into their accounts for participating in coloring contests, photo contests, and also for having A's and B's on their report cards. They also each have a card that gets stamped every time they make a deposit, and after 12 stamps they get a reward. It is going to be a great way to teach our kids about saving money! They gave them each tshirt, but unfortunately I haven't taken their picture in them yet.
Friday we ate an early supper with Sam at Katy's. Then Sam and I took the kids to see Pippi Longstocking performed by the Blackberry Little Theater. My mom and brothers met us there. The kids loved it! Alyssa even said Pippi was her best friend, and she can't wait to start reading the books! After the play, we took the kids through McDonald's drive thru for ice cream.
Saturday we did some cleaning up around the house, while Alan mowed the yard. The kids and I ate our lunch in front of the tv, so we could watch the Pippi Longstocking cartoon movie from the 90s. They liked it just as much as the play. We did Laikon's 3 month pictures, a day late. Alyssa had asked to call Granny Friday night, so they made plans to stay with her Saturday night. Alan had Shawn come over for supper, and they played video games while I took the longest bath I've had in years. :)
Sunday we slept super late, since the kids weren't home, and I can still feed Laikon back to sleep. After we got up and got going I went to get the kids. I had to run to the store to get a couple of nights worth of supper. After I got home and we cooked and ate, Shawn, Bekka, and Quinn came over to play. Since they didn't get here until late, we just let the kids stay up until they couldn't take it any more and slowly fell asleep on their own one by one. They had fun coloring, reading, and playing with Quinn though.
Today I spent the entire day cleaning out the hall closet. We had been planning on putting all the toys in there, when we got them back down from the attic. Now we are thinking about putting all the kids' beds into the boys' room and making that the room for sleeping and having Alyssa's room be our play/school room. The kids all really like sleeping together, and it makes me and Alan more comfortable having them sleep right next to our room. For now the toys are in the closet waiting for us to go through them, and tomorrow we will test out having 4 beds in one small bedroom. I know having a room meant just for sleeping will help me during the day, when I need to put Laikon down for his nap. And having a room just for playing and learning should make things more organized and easier to clean instead of having toys all over the house. We were a family that had a few toys in every single room. You should see the closet! It almost makes me sick to think about all the "stuff" we own and do not need. Our kids are obviously loved, but it's time to start showing that more through actions and time spent together, than through material items. I cannot wait to see what they choose to keep and what they choose to give away. I'm also excited to see their reaction to toys they haven't seen in a month. It should make them all exciting again, instead of just the same old stuff. We even have toys that they haven't seen in probably a year because we had put up about half of them so we could rotate....the rotating never happened. lol Thursday is toy day!!
Last Wednesday was our park day. We met up with friends and played even though it was very hot that day, and the sudden rain that we just played through only made it more humid. Late Tuesday night I picked up Laikon a Bumbo, so it was fun having him try that out Wednesday too. After the kids had gone to bed I noticed that their new rain boots had arrived at some point during the day, so I got them out of their boxes and was so excited to give them to them the next day. We spent quite a while online a few days before trying to find a pair each kid liked that was affordable and came in their size, so I couldn't wait to see them on. Well I lined them up to take a photo and noticed that Alton was sent 2 left boots! I was so mad. And on top of that they didn't have anymore in his size, so I had to go back and pick a totally different pair. I hope when the new pair finally shows up he isn't disappointed that they have tractors on them rather than race cars. I put Alyssa and Landon's up, until Alton's comes in. They are all really cute, and they are from Hatley. They seem very well made!
Saturday we did some cleaning up around the house, while Alan mowed the yard. The kids and I ate our lunch in front of the tv, so we could watch the Pippi Longstocking cartoon movie from the 90s. They liked it just as much as the play. We did Laikon's 3 month pictures, a day late. Alyssa had asked to call Granny Friday night, so they made plans to stay with her Saturday night. Alan had Shawn come over for supper, and they played video games while I took the longest bath I've had in years. :)
Today I spent the entire day cleaning out the hall closet. We had been planning on putting all the toys in there, when we got them back down from the attic. Now we are thinking about putting all the kids' beds into the boys' room and making that the room for sleeping and having Alyssa's room be our play/school room. The kids all really like sleeping together, and it makes me and Alan more comfortable having them sleep right next to our room. For now the toys are in the closet waiting for us to go through them, and tomorrow we will test out having 4 beds in one small bedroom. I know having a room meant just for sleeping will help me during the day, when I need to put Laikon down for his nap. And having a room just for playing and learning should make things more organized and easier to clean instead of having toys all over the house. We were a family that had a few toys in every single room. You should see the closet! It almost makes me sick to think about all the "stuff" we own and do not need. Our kids are obviously loved, but it's time to start showing that more through actions and time spent together, than through material items. I cannot wait to see what they choose to keep and what they choose to give away. I'm also excited to see their reaction to toys they haven't seen in a month. It should make them all exciting again, instead of just the same old stuff. We even have toys that they haven't seen in probably a year because we had put up about half of them so we could rotate....the rotating never happened. lol Thursday is toy day!!
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Day 21
We got up and had breakfast and then went straight out to set up the kids' new water slide. While the water slide totally does not fit in with the whole "30 Day Toy Hiatus", I won it from another blogger's giveaway, and I was so excited to have the kids play on it. It's something that we could never afford to buy on our own, so I was ecstatic when I learned I had won this one! We got a tarp to put down under it, and once we had it spread out and unrolled the slide, it only took a few minutes to connect the blower and have it inflated and ready to play on. I got the kids ready to go out, and then we played until well after lunchtime. The splash pool at the bottom was just right for me and Laikon to sit in while Alton, Landon, and Alyssa slid down and also pretended to be dogs. (Bekka, I know you are dying right now. haha) Afterwards, we went in and took our baths and had a late lunch. We were exhausted, so we spent the rest of the afternoon resting. The boys spent sometime playing in the box it the slide came in pretending to be in a rocket ship. Alan and I had to go out and take it down before it got dark, and then he grilled hotdogs for supper. After supper we took our books back to the library and picked out some new ones. We read a few of them when we came home, but then it was bedtime.
Monday, July 8, 2013
Day 18, 19, & 20
Saturday we spent the morning getting ready for our cook out that afternoon. We had some cleaning up to do and also several different foods to prepare. Everyone came over around 4. We had hamburgers and hot dogs, chips and dip, pasta salad, cole slaw, potato salad, deviled eggs, and tons of desserts. It was nice having company over and just hanging out for a while. Alton had been complaining about his bottom hurting since Thursday, but with the holiday the doctors were all closed. It got so bad that I went ahead and took him to the emergency room Saturday night, after everyone had gone home. He had an abscess, but he is on antibiotics and doing much better now.
Sunday we were all exhausted after having company and being up late with Alton's trip to the hospital. We all laid around most of the day. We are loving the new recliner because me and all 4 kids can fit on it together, so we can read and rock, and Laikon can nurse. Laikon woke up once about 8am to eat and otherwise stayed in bed until 3pm! Poor little guy, we wore him out. The boys came up with some shields to go with their toothbrush holder swords. They are the lids to our wipe boxes. Stretching those imaginations! They carried them around most of the day. Alan's aunt came by and had a little girl Alyssa's age with her, so Alyssa ended up staying the night with her. Alyssa has only had one girlfriend before, so it was good for her. We're just always around a bunch of boys.
Today the plan was to get the new water slide up, but it rained...again. So we cleaned up the mess from Saturday, since basically nothing got done Sunday. Alyssa and I ran to Walmart to get a tarp to put the slide on and an extension cord so we can plug it in, and hopefully tomorrow we can get it up, although they are calling for storms for the next 10 days!! Tonight Alyssa is sleeping in the boys' bedroom floor again because Alan's aunt gave the boys sleeping bags, so Alyssa got hers out too, and they are pretending to camp out. Alton even took a little flashlight key chain to bed. Now I have put the boys back to bed 3 times, and Alan has once, even though Alyssa is passed out. After staying up late 2 nights in a row, their schedule is messed up. Just about another week and a half of no toys, and then we will get to see their reactions to all their old stuff!
(Somebody's always gotta ruin the best one!)
(Laikon modeling his new patriotic diaper.)
(River photo bombing. lol)
Sunday we were all exhausted after having company and being up late with Alton's trip to the hospital. We all laid around most of the day. We are loving the new recliner because me and all 4 kids can fit on it together, so we can read and rock, and Laikon can nurse. Laikon woke up once about 8am to eat and otherwise stayed in bed until 3pm! Poor little guy, we wore him out. The boys came up with some shields to go with their toothbrush holder swords. They are the lids to our wipe boxes. Stretching those imaginations! They carried them around most of the day. Alan's aunt came by and had a little girl Alyssa's age with her, so Alyssa ended up staying the night with her. Alyssa has only had one girlfriend before, so it was good for her. We're just always around a bunch of boys.
(You can just barely see the top of Laikon's head.)
(Alyssa and her new friend Addison before going to sleep last night.)
Today the plan was to get the new water slide up, but it rained...again. So we cleaned up the mess from Saturday, since basically nothing got done Sunday. Alyssa and I ran to Walmart to get a tarp to put the slide on and an extension cord so we can plug it in, and hopefully tomorrow we can get it up, although they are calling for storms for the next 10 days!! Tonight Alyssa is sleeping in the boys' bedroom floor again because Alan's aunt gave the boys sleeping bags, so Alyssa got hers out too, and they are pretending to camp out. Alton even took a little flashlight key chain to bed. Now I have put the boys back to bed 3 times, and Alan has once, even though Alyssa is passed out. After staying up late 2 nights in a row, their schedule is messed up. Just about another week and a half of no toys, and then we will get to see their reactions to all their old stuff!
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